All right, y’all. I’m back.
I think my hiatus from this blog may have been taken prematurely.
Before I started blogging about dating, I was a goddamned mess of a person when it came to men. I was like a fish flapping around out of water, or a chicken running around with its head cut off. Basically, I was every awkward animal that has ever existed. Ever. (I’m probably still reaalllllllllly awkward, but at least I feel better about it. That’s all that matters, right?)
I’m a visual person, and I think I need to write this shit down to make any sense of it. I need to sort out all the feels. And HEY, blogging is cheaper than therapy!
TBH, I also missed all the gifs.
Anyway, even though online dating still sucks, I’m still into dating or whatever. I mean, who would ever get sick of getting dressed up and going out and doing fun stuff with someone you’re into?
Lord knows I enjoy putting on something slutty and struttin’ around for no reason.
For the new year, I’m changing my outlook, though.
I had my sister get me a match.com membership because I thought I wanted to settle down and get boo’d up immediately, and I thought I could pretty much guarantee that if I looked online. The whole plan fit very well within my very Type-A, control-freak, overly-organized life.
However, that plan also produced a lot of bullshit that made me extremely frustrated.
Now I’m realizing that life is so much better when you just fucking relax and go with the flow a little bit. The same applies to dating.
I think women really fuck themselves over a lot because we have a tendency to rehash every single fucking detail from a relationship, and then overanalyze it all. If you think about something too much, you start to care about it more than you probably should. And then it starts to matter more than it should. I don’t know how much anxiety that kind of nonsense has caused me over the past 26 years, but probably at least 18 voms worth.
For real though, ladies, we need to stop THINKING and just start LIVING.
SO, my new year’s resolution has been to do just that – to stop trying to figure stuff out prematurely, and just go with it more – and so far it’s been more fun. It’s definitely less stressful.
Even though I’m changing my brain around, I’m not lowering my expectations. During a bad breakup once, a good friend told me I deserve someone who “thinks the sun shines out of my ass.” She’s right. I do deserve that shit.
Imma still keep my eyes open for that. I’m just not gonna break a sweat doing it anymore.
Anyway, I’m actually in a new situation that I haven’t quite figured out, which is fine for now. I like this guy, and he’s a lot of fun to spend time with, but that’s as far as I’ve gotten. I’m still trying to feel out what he thinks about it, too.
I think that’s all I’ll say about that. I haven’t figured out how to articulate the rest, and I think I’d rather focus on enjoying the ride instead anyway.
Wherever that ride fuckin goes.