XO

All right. Let’s do this shit again.

Yesterday I took the bar exam and afterwards I made a list of all the fun things I can do again now that the #BarIsOver. SEE YA NEVER BAR EXAM, HELLO FUN.

seinfeld dance

Some of the fun things I’m looking forward to doing include:

– Catching up on my shows, like The Wire and House of Cards
– Finishing Allegiant, and all those other books that have been cluttering up my bookshelf for years
– Excercising my fat ass
– Learning French on Duolingo!

Basically, I’m ready to get back to doing all kinds of fun stuff that I didn’t have time for when the devil/bar exam was dancing on my back.

I’ve just realized, though, that I forgot another VERY IMPORTANT addition to that list that I’ve been thinking of getting back to for awhile: dating.

I took my little dating hiatus right after Christmas, and there were times that I thought I wanted to try some more, but I just didn’t have time! Well. Now I have time. So, line up fellas!

i'm all yours

But no, for real, I’m thinking I’m gonna start looking around on match.com again, but I think I’ll also diversify my “search.” I downloaded Tinder just a little bit ago, and I think I’ll get back on OKCupid, too.

I’m ready to GO, but I’m also a little apprehensive, I guess.

I’ve done OKC before and met some decent guys, but I also came across some REALLLLLLLLY scary people.

FOR EXAMPLE, there was this guy who used the screenname “BLACKMILK” and in thinly veiled innuendo, he let me know that he wanted to have weird, gross sex with me. He also talked in all caps. He was frightening not only because of his especially weird requests, but because I didn’t know why he was yelling at me.

Liiiiiike…..y u gotta yell?

Then there was the guy I came across in my random matches who was wearing women’s underwear and was tied up, bondage style, with a ball-gag in his mouth, in his main picture. That was….interesting.

this is my hell

I dunno, maybe I shouldn’t be so worried. I have gotten some really good stories out of online dating, and it’s been a fun ride. But I’m actually interested in meeting normal people that I could date for some time. Don’t those exist?

I’m a little excited about checking out Tinder. I know it’s probably shadier than OKC, but I’ve also got a few friends who have had some luck. I think the dudes might be less fugly, too. Seems like it could be fun and a good time waster, in the very least.

But before I dive back in, I think maybe my expectations for online dating need to change. In my mind, I want it to be like online shopping: you go onto whatever website with a vague idea of what you’re looking for, or at least knowing your preferences; you browse for awhile; you find a few things you like; you proceed to check out; you get the things you found in delivered to you, and you end up returning most of them because they don’t fit, but some of them are great.

IT SHOULD BE THAT EASY.

sorcery

But I know it’s not. Unfortunately, I’m an idealist and it’s hard for me to grasp onto reality a lot of the time. But I am REALLY going to try to lower my expectations this time around, so maybe I’ll be able to keep it light and fun/keep myself from not getting so frustrated.

IDK.

This DOUCHE I know (you know who you are, I’m sure you’re reading. Don’t get too flattered that I’m talking about you) keeps giving me shit for “trying too hard” at dating. He also thinks I’m certifiably crazy IN GENERAL. But he says shit to me all the time that it doesn’t sound like I’m having fun with this online dating.

excuse me rudeness

But I think I should clear the air about this: I AM HAVING FUN.

For real, Mr. Douche Face, GFY. And KMA. You’d like it, I’m sure. But seriously, can’t I live?

I don’t think I would keep subjecting myself to this buuuuuulllshit if I didn’t like it. I have fun going on dates. I really do like all the primping and preparation that goes into a date., and the conversation and getting-to-know-someone on a date is really enjoyable AND TO BE CLEAR, I wouldn’t agree to go on a date at all if I didn’t like the dude at least a little.

No, dating is fun. And I have fun on the dates I go on.

Maybe I overanalyze the dates on this blog. But it’s a blog. Isn’t that what blogs are for?

And, um, hellllllo! Have you met me? First, I’m a woman, and I think we, as a sex, are prone to overanalyze (YES that is a very unfeminist generalization I just made. Deal with it). Second, I personaly overanalyze EV.ER.Y.THING. Seriously, everything. It’s in my nature. I’m just anal and obsessive and TWITCHY. And I think TOO MUCH.

That may make me crazy. But hey, that’s me. And I’m aware of it. There’s somebody out there who will be able to appreciate the hot mess that I am. Mr. Douche Fuck, I don’t need your blessing to get through this life and find happiness the way I want.

Anyway, I am excited to try out Tinder, and to dip my toes back into the online dating waters. Maybe I’ll meet some interesting people. Worst case, I AM SURE I will end up with more interesting stories. And in the end, isn’t that all that really matters?

star trek no idea

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