I made a decision this week that I thought was pretty mature and rational. At least for me, since I tend to be wholly irrational and impulsive.
There was this dude that I had been seeing every once in awhile. We were not dating, although at one time I definitely thought I might want to. But turns out we have literally nothing in common. Like, he had never seen any episodes of any Law& Order. How is that possible??
So we were just having sleepovers. It was fun, blah blah blah, whatever.
But then the fun wasn’t enough.
I know there are a lot of people out there who would be content to live their single lives knowing they had the security of a booty call. It’s kind of an epidemic among our generation. I may have been one of those people three years ago.
But the last time I was in that situation, it ended poorly for me.
I’m not good with casual shit like that. I care too much and I’m too much of a romantic.
So, I was proud of myself this week because I cut my booty call loose.
In reality, the dude is a nice enough guy, but it was easier than I expected to cut it off because I realized I didn’t want to date him whatsofuckingever (and I think the feeling was mutual).
Four months ago, I signed up for match because I wanted to meet someone worthwhile. I wanted to get away from casual dating and flings. This week, I realized that the road I was going down with this dude was taking me on a long detour away from what I actually wanted. It was shaping up to be a major waste of time.
I’m not looking for a flavor of the week. I’m too old for that shit.
Like I said, I’ve been down that road before. The moments of fun in casual situations like that never make up for the other moments of loneliness and the feelings of regret I get for compromising.
And I guess if I actually want to be open to meeting someone worthwhile, I should stop compromising while I’m waiting.
I’m still not really actively looking to date at this particular moment. There’s so much shit on my plate right now. But at least if something or someone DOES come along, I won’t have any obstacles in my way.
I just wish I would have had the sense to be this rational when I was living in Chicago. Maybe if I would have said “see ya never” earlier to the Douchey McJerkerson who would booty call me when I was living there, I would have been able to focus on what I really wanted – dating non-douchey, nice guys. And I could have spared myself a lot of heartache.
You live and you learn, I guess. I’m just glad I am actually maybe learning this time.