You Only Get What You Give

I’ve been thinking a lot about dating karma this week.

When I look back on my dating history, there’s like one nice guy, a string of douche bags, followed by like maybe one more nice guy, then even douchier douche bags. I mean, there was probably only one dude who was really HORRIBLE, but the rest clearly weren’t winners, seeing as I’m still single.

Is this a result of my dating karma? Am I putting bad shit out there in the universe?

jon hamm crying

I went on like a billion dates this week (okay, it was only three. but three in 3 days is a lot!), and only one of them was any fun.

I’m so tiiiiiiiiiired of going out on mediocre dates. Like, I used to get excited about EVERY date. I love getting to know people and trying new things. But after awhile it gets hard to be interested in people who really aren’t that interesting.

I’m about ready to get in touch with my friend’s Indian grandmother so she can arrange a marriage for me.

When I can’t expect to have a good time on a date, it’s pretty hard to mentally get it up for any of these dudes. Then it’s a vicious cycle, because I’m probably broadcasting pretty clearly that “I’M NOT FUCKING INTERESTED”. Like I’m sure it flashes across my forehead in neon lights or something. I’m guessing.

It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don’t think I’ll be interested, then I become uninterested.


At the same time, I’m also fucking tired of dudes who seemingly have no testicles. I had a third date tonight with Eat Pray Love. I was really into him after our last date, and I was supposed to make him dinner tonight. I had to change plans last minute, but I still let him know that I really wanted to meet up with him, and so we ended up just grabbing a drink. I thought I was broadcasting pretty clearly that “I’M STILL FUCKING INTERESTED.”

Maybe I was a boring slore during dinner (I was exhausted), but it wasn’t nearly the worst date I’ve ever been on. So, obvi, I was expecting maybe a different goodbye than the last two dates. AKA I thought he would maybe actually try to kiss me. You know, like a normal thing that should happen by the third date (or for real, the second. let’s be real).

No dice.

How do you get to be a thirty year old man and can’t figure out how to make a move by three dates? What world am I living in? Makes no sense.

your world

Not everything is horrible, I guess. There’s still one promising gentleman. I’m excited about that possibility, but I’m trying to figure out a way to feel it out without getting too excited. Because when that happens, I usually end up disappointed. Hopefully I send out appropriate signals into the universe. Because he actually seems like he could be a lot of fun.

Or maybe I’m just doomed to keep building up shitty dating karma.

IDK. Questions without answers.


One thought on “You Only Get What You Give

  1. Given that I actually don’t have testicles I’m wondering how I’m going to work up the courage to broach the subject with prospective dates. I have a feeling letting her find out on her own would be wrong…

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