Phew, what a weekend. Thank god I have tomorrow off from work to decompress. I had girlfriends in town last night and we went to a karaoke bar, where we witnessed a fight. It was eventful, to say the least. The hangover I’ve been battling all day tells me we had a ton of fun, too.


My Friday was pretty fun, too! I started the weekend out with a pretty nasty head cold and a date with Iowa, who I think I’ll only refer to as Man Child from here on out. Because, you know, he’s a man child. He’s probably like a year younger than me, but he just seems so young. Especially considering most of the other dudes I’m talking with are several years older than I am. Man Child doesn’t act immaturely or anything, he’s just definitely more youthful.

Anyway, I had a really nice time with the Man Child. We went to this yummy tapas place not far from my place. I had forgotten just how adorable this guy is, and the conversation flowed  well. I really enjoy his midwestern sensibilities – he’s kind and down to earth, and just a really nice guy. It’s refreshing.

There was one odd thing about this date, and my last date with him, as well. After our first date, which was just for drinks, he ended the date by attempting to shake my hand.


I was kinda like, “cute, but no,” so I shrugged it off and gave him a hug. But it was still weird.

After this second date, he hugged me. I was a little surprised he didn’t try for a kiss, but at the same time, I guess I had told him up front that I was gross and sick. Maybe I’m thinking too much about it, and maybe it’s not weird at all that he didn’t try to kiss me. Maybe I’m also being a big slore expecting everybody to want to kiss me all the time.

Anyway, I liked seeing Man Child, and I think I’d like to see him again, but I’m not sold on this guy yet. (That seems natural for a second date, though, right?)

I think part of my hesitation with Man Child is that so much is going on in my real-world life. I have two very different story lines playing out right now that are complicating things.

First, I’m still lusting after this stupid sheriff’s deputy at work. I try to flirt with this guy all the time. I don’t think I’m very successful. I am actually pretty certain he doesn’t know my name. I don’t think of myself as a SHY person by any means, but I kind of turn into a pathetic middle school girl when I’m around him. Like, I never know what to say or how to start a conversation.

no logical explanation

My boss thinks I should just get it over with and ask him out. I’ve been plotting all week, trying to figure out how I can do that. Friday I fell asleep thinking of how to catch his attention. I felt a little bad because I was thinking about this Deputy rather than the dude I had just gone on a date with.

To further complicate matters, someone from my past has resurfaced and forced me to consider how I feel about him. We can call this guy Lawyer Man. I have known him for years, and we have always had a very flirtatious friendship. I talk to him all the time. Anyway, things between us are quickly growing more complicated and it’s making me reconsider whether I even want to keep doing at all. I can’t decide if our clear mutual attraction is enough.

live off love

The thing is, even if I do keep dating some of the men I’ve been talking with on, I’m concerned that my complicated friendship with Lawyer Man will keep me from wanting to commit to any of the other guys. I haven’t decided yet if that’s a bad thing.

Honestly, I probably shouldn’t be thinking too much about committing to anyone yet. I’m definitely getting ahead of myself if I do that, because I haven’t gone on more than two dates with anyone from

I keep telling myself I should just go with the flow and see where things take me. Maybe I should actually start doing that? And maybe if I do that the answers to my current dilemmas will resolve themselves.

Regardless, maybe my currently complicated situation isn’t so bad. It’s certainly refreshing to be dating nice men, rather than my typical type – douchey assholes who treat me poorly. And, hey, excitement and options aren’t a bad thing when it comes to dating.



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