Dirty Little Secret

It’s been about a week since I have been back on match.com, diligently looking for worthy suitors. It’s also been about a week since I started THIS: this monstrosity of a blog, the receptacle of my word vomit and resting place of my thoughts on internet dating.

Since I started blogging about my dating adventures, I’ve been overwhelmed by the responses and feedback I’ve gotten from friends, acquaintances, and strangers. But one recurring question has really stuck with me, and has had me thinking a lot recently.

“How are you going to explain the fact that you’ve been blogging about your experience to the guy you eventually end up dating?”

…Hmm, I guess I probably should have thought about that? Didn’t really consider that at all, actually. Shit.

After days rolling that question around my head, I still don’t know if I have a good answer.

What I assume will happen, what I HOPE will happen, is that I’ll just bring it up nonchalantly, let him read it, and then we’ll crack open a couple cold ones and toast to my awesomeness and everything will be fine.

I mean really, the more I’ve thought about the impact this blog could have on my potential future love life, the more I think it’s just like every other possibly unflattering fact about myself I’ve hidden. (And I don’t really think this blog is unflattering. It just is what it is. It’s my thoughts and feelings spewed frenetically across a dim computer screen). It’s something that, like most unflattering facts, will eventually come up. Maybe it will be a little awkward.  But if someone is into me, and really likes me, it shouldn’t be a deal breaker. Nothing about me should be a deal breaker.

This blog is an extension of me. If some dude can’t deal with it, I’d kindly like him to kiss my ass, leave the bottle of merlot he brought over, and gtfo out of my house. (Maybe I used too much vulgar language in that last sentence, but I hope you get the point).

When I started writing this blog, I thought maybe I’d mostly be sharing funny/awkward/mortifying stories about my interactions with the men from match.com. It’s morphed into something more than that, partly because I needed more to make sense of the whole experience. I’m really not trying to drag anyone’s name through the mud or (unnecessarily) embarrass them, and I’m not one to kiss and tell. I would hope my future superhotandwickedsmart boyfriend from the internet gets all that.

In fact, I hope he reads my blog and thinks it makes me even more superhotandwickedsmart(andhilarious).

MOREOVER, if this blog is the biggest thing I need to worry about explaining if and when I get into a relationship with someone, I’d be in good shape. Wanna focus on the blog? SURE, NO PROBLEM. Let’s just go ahead and ignore that phase I had in college where I was only interested in douchebags. And we probably don’t need to talk about all the pictures of me at the place that one time wearing the you know what (some of you know what I’m talking about!).

I’d gladly trade all my other dirty little secrets for this very public one. But even if I have to keep all my secrets, I’m looking for someone who’s down with them anyway.

One friend told me the whole situation of potentially having to explain this blog sounded like a romantic comedy. I sure hope it turns out that way. Girl starts blog. Girl meets boy. Girl and Boy fall in love. Boy falls in love with Girl’s blog, too.

Sounds like a pretty good story to me.

So, future soulmate, read away. I hope you like what you see.

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