Well. Another day, another date.
Today I met one of the guys I’d been talking with pretty frequently to go for a walk in Cherokee Park, which is this awesome, beautiful park in the middle of Louisville. It’s actually amazing, and it was a beautiful day for a walk. I was looking forward to meeting him, because he seemed pretty cool.
Well, he was nice and pretty funny, I guess, but I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again. I just wasn’t attracted to him, nor was I that into him. (Yes, I have read the book. Yes, I buy into the philosophy).
I think maybe if I would have met him in real life somewhere, he could have been a friend that I could have grabbed a beer with. But considering that I met him on a dating website, I think friendship is probably out of the question. (I mean, that’s an awkward thing, right? “Oh, how’d you meet your buddy here?” “Oh, we went on a bad date and she wasn’t that into me”).
I keep thinking back to my self-realization earlier this week that maybe I’m too judgmental sometimes, but I’m starting to think maybe being judgmental is necessary in situations like this. Sometimes the little things make a difference! And the big things, like physical attraction and chemistry, definitely make a difference.
I think it’s somewhat strange how judgment works in online dating. Usually, I think the little things actually make more of a difference at the beginning, in deciding to initiate contact with someone or reply to a message. For example, the pictures a person chooses to post, or they way they choose to respond to the stock questions online, can turn me off pretty quickly. And I usually can tell if I have chemistry with someone not based on who they pray to, but rather what kind of beer they prefer to drink. (Remember: NO BLUE MOON!)
The big things, like politics, religion, or family, may not even come up until you’re actually in a relationship with someone, when you’re figuring out if you should commit. It’s counterintuitive, really. If you’re trying to find a life partner, or a “match,” you’d think the focus should (or would) be on those big things. But I think chemistry has to win up front, right? Because the big things are really just the “on paper,” important compatibility things. They’re not the things that make a relationship exciting.
Now I’m rambling.
I’ve been chatting with a lot more guys this weekend, and have given many more of them my phone number. My phone’s been blowin’ up! I feel so popular. I like talking with men. The “getting to know you” phase of relationships can be really fun, I think.
I actually gave my number to Star Wars guy. I’m not sure how this is going to turn out. He made a joke about cuddling in a message he sent me recently, and quite frankly I wasn’t feeling it. I mean, he had just been rude to me. Well, apparently the way I responded wasn’t satisfactory, and he sent me another rude message back. SO, I told him that “maybe we aren’t a good match.” I think that’s probably true. I THOUGHT that would maybe be the end of our communication.
No. It was not the end. He responded with something to the effect of, “Don’t give up on us!” or something equally weird. However, I was a little (just a really tiny bit) impressed with his persistence, so I told him just to text me. Perhaps I’ll be able to see if we have chemistry via text message. More likely, I’ll say something within the next day or two that will offend him again. But I’ll give him that one last chance. I’m not expecting to meet him face to face, though.
Why? I really don’t think the chemistry is there.
I think I’ve been pretty good at judging chemistry so far. I think there’s potential with some of these other guys I’ve been chatting with, so hopefully I’ll be able to meet some of them soon.
Before I go, an update on Desperate Guy. I gave him one last chance. He again just sent me a long list of things and places he thinks I might know. It was almost as if he was reciting facts, hoping to catch my attention with a familiar phrase. I didn’t really feel like he was actually trying to get to know me, nor let me get to know him. I told him I didn’t think we were a good match, and I wished him luck.
But, yeah. Chemistry. It matters. You know it when you feel it.