Match.com. For months and years during law school, I put off dating because I knew my situation wasn’t permanent. But today, I started 6 months on match.com. When I think about match.com I feel simultaneously excited and anxious.
I’m excited because I really would like to meet someone. I enjoy getting dressed up, meeting new people, and spending time with them. I’m excited about the possibility of meeting someone I really like, about feeling butterflies. And I’m excited about having someone to do things with, like go to dinner or see whatever cheesy blockbuster is out. I’m just excited for something different.
I’m anxious, though, that I’ll strike out. I tell myself several times a week that I’m a catch. I believe that I’m pretty awesome. I’m anxious that I won’t meet anyone that recognizes or appreciates that, though. I know I’m 25, but it seems like I’ve failed pretty miserably at dating so far. If match.com doesn’t work, do I really have hope of meeting anyone? Am I destined to adopt 8 cats and watch BBC shows streaming on netflix every night (not that there’s anything wrong with that)?
When I graduated from law school, my sister knew that I was looking to start dating again, so she offered to buy me a membership to match.com. I’d done match before, and so had she. In fact, she met her husband on match.com. Hoping to meet someone just as great as my brother-in-law, and not one to turn down a gift, I accepted her offer. She had one condition though: she would get to create my profile for me! Pictures, bios, everything.
I was pretty curious what my sister would have to say about me to help me land a husband. On one hand, she’s my sister, so she has known me longer than anyone. On the other hand, she’s my sister, so she doesn’t know some of the more scandalous parts of my history. I was pretty impressed with what she came up with, though! She was concise, a smidge sassy, and she created a good amount of intrigue – hopefully some good conversation starters.
My profile posted a few hours ago and I’ve started to get some messages and winks. “Winks” are a low-commitment way to show interest on match.com, pretty similar to a poke on facebook.
Over the next 6 months, I expect:
– I will get several messages that make me sad because they are so pathetic
– I will get even more messages and winks from men who are a) too old, b) too young, and/or c) super creepy, after which I will probably feel like showering with steel wool so that I can feel truly clean again
– MANY lawyer jokes
– some “hey girl i like your smile” messages
– maybe a few keeper
– some tears
– a lot of conversations with my lady friends via gchat, where I mainly say “WTF”
– I am entertained. If I am entertained, you will get to share that with me.
– Not everyone is a dud.
In the few hours I’ve been on Match.com, I do have one story to share:
– One of the gents who emailed me seemed normal enough. I did notice before I read his message that he was older than I am generally looking for – 34. But he seemed cute enough in pictures, so I read his message. HOLY BAGGAGE batman. It was as if a wounded puppy typed the email for this guy. It oozed lack of self-confidence. He was all like “I didn’t even know if I should email you, because I’m 34.” Then, he listed off EVERY interest we shared in common. It was a looooong paragraph.
I emailed him back, mostly because I felt sorry for him. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that. I’m not sure if I will actually be interested in him. He seems like he could be a nice guy, but he also seems like he might ask his friends if his jeans make his ass look fat.
But I think this guy is a pretty good example of what the next 6 months could be like. First impressions are hard in any circumstance, but especially so on the internet. I’m trying to be more open minded about men and give some a shot that maybe I’d have brushed off 2 years ago.
We’ll see if the old, vulnerable man messages me back.
If not, maybe i’ll get some other interesting messages through the pipeline 😀